AFTER yet another busy and stressful day at Facebook HQ, American technology entrepreneur Mark Zuckerberg kicked off his $4 Walmart trainers into the area under the stairs and threw himself onto the couch for a nice relaxing evening of listening to private phone calls. Swapping from Whatsapp to Facebook messenger’s realtime calls, the young billionaire randomly highlighted a two-way video call to… Read more »
FACEBOOK’S Mark Zuckerberg was in Dublin today to carry on the long tradition of big business leaders dropping in to pay lip service to Ireland and talk about how amazing the Irish workforce is, and how they’re not just here because they can pay whatever tax they like. However, if the Zuck thought he was… Read more »
A REPORT into local Facebook community pages and groups has found that the vast majority of members are complete fucking whingers that seem to have nothing better to do than ‘nitpick at every available moment of their sad and miserable lives’. Studying over 10,000 individual community groups across the country, the Facebook in-house report found that the… Read more »
THE IRISH public let out a shrill cry before dramatically fainting after learning its government may have shown preferential treatment to multinationals operating in Ireland, WWN can reveal. Claims made in The Observer newspaper this weekend suggest Facebook has for a number of years aggressively lobbied politicians in the EU, including former Taoiseach Enda Kenny,… Read more »
ALTHOUGH leaked details regarding Facebook’s new dating profile srvice have shown that the service is just basically Facebook, that hasn’t stopped shares in other dating apps such as Tinder, Match.com and Fingr from tumbling to record lows. The existing dating sites took a hit on the stock exchange as Facebook rebounded from months of negative PR… Read more »
DUE TO an increasing number of unregulated trials by social media over the past decade, which has seen millions of people convicted for crimes they may or may not have committed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced the launch of a brand new feature on the world’s biggest platform, Facebook Courts. Much like a group page, Facebook… Read more »
FACEBOOK Tsar Mark Zuckerberg is currently suffering from repetitive strain injury in his wrist, caused by having to ceaselessly click away ads for suits, barber shops, toothpaste and anxiety pills that have cluttered up his newsfeed since his congressional hearing this week. Zuckerberg was brought in front of congress amid the fallout of the Cambridge… Read more »
A CHEMICAL attack which continues the incalculable suffering endured by innocent civilians in Syria has tragically interrupted thousands of people’s routine of mindlessly scrolling through their social media feeds, WWN understands. Penetrating newsfeeds with pinpoint precision, the chemical attack in Damascus suburb of Douma, has left thousands affected by the inconvenient realisation that the 7-year… Read more »
FOLLOWING months of pressure from some of the world’s leading nations and security agencies, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has finally gotten to the bottom of the social network’s problem; a rusty old wrench stuck wedged in one of its main servers. “It must have been in there since 2010,” the 31-year-old posted, with a picture of the… Read more »
Dear Internet user, Please read the following open letter carefully, as this is the only correspondence you’re getting from us. Look at the state of you there you pathetic blubbering mess, worrying about what your technological devices are doing to your life; what information we’re taking, what conversations we’re listening in on, what filth you’ve been… Read more »