Millions Report Being Deradicalised Overnight After Facebook Name Change

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MILLIONS of estranged aunts and uncles across the world awoke this morning with what is being described as newly found outlook on life devoid of all irrational leanings and chronic anxiety for the first time in over a decade, WWN can report.

Clear minded but hungover from years of internal conflict, Facebook users reported a mass deradicalisation today which they claim is down to the social networks name change with experts also stating it may have undone years of hard wiring created by dopamine rewarding algorithms.

“We’ve already seen a 4 million percent uptake on vaccines,” a WHO spokesperson confirmed, “millions of pasty faced middle-aged men and women with bad haircuts have flooded vaccine centres across the planet, and we believe it’s a direct result of Mark Zuckerberg changing the name, and thus, changing everything the old platform has done to society”.

Following the sudden shift, die hard patriots and far right leaning commentators have taken to the newly named social network to apologise for years of discourse poisoning and misinformation, calling for acceptance and understanding from those they may have hurt in the past.

“I want to apologise to any migrants and foreign nationals I may have offended in the past,” a sheep-eyed Tommy Robinson posted on Meta earlier, “from now on I will do everything to help those less fortunate than me and I will be converting to Islam. Sorry everyone”.

Similarly, impressionable young girls have also reported changes to their Instagram feed.

“I don’t feel the need to hurl up my food every time I eat anymore, and I haven’t thought once about killing myself today,” one teenage girl reported.

Speaking of the massive improvements and positives achieved by a simple name change, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg said ‘job done’.

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