Tag: facebook

Delayed Launch Of Facebook ‘Dating’ Feature Blamed On Amount Of Ugly Single People

THE OVERABUNDANCE of ugly single people has been given as the reason for Facebook’s delayed launch of the ‘Facebook Dating’ feature across Ireland and Europe. Scheduled to launch the day before Valentine’s Day this year, the dating feature was the tech giant’s answer to popular apps like Grindr and Tinder, however, Facebook confirmed the postponement… Read more »

Zuckerberg To Spend Nice Relaxing Evening Listening In To Everyone’s Calls

AFTER yet another busy and stressful day at Facebook HQ, American technology entrepreneur Mark Zuckerberg kicked off his $4 Walmart trainers into the area under the stairs and threw himself onto the couch for a nice relaxing evening of listening to private phone calls. Swapping from Whatsapp to Facebook messenger’s realtime calls, the young billionaire randomly highlighted a two-way video call to… Read more »

Local Facebook Community Group Full Of Fucking Whingers

A REPORT into local Facebook community pages and groups has found that the vast majority of members are complete fucking whingers that seem to have nothing better to do than ‘nitpick at every available moment of their sad and miserable lives’. Studying over 10,000 individual community groups across the country, the Facebook in-house report found that the… Read more »

New Facebook Dating Service Just Facebook

ALTHOUGH leaked details regarding Facebook’s new dating profile srvice have shown that the service is just basically Facebook, that hasn’t stopped shares in other dating apps such as Tinder, Match.com and Fingr from tumbling to record lows. The existing dating sites took a hit on the stock exchange as Facebook rebounded from months of negative PR… Read more »

Zuckerberg Bombarded With Facebook Ads For Suits, Haircuts

FACEBOOK Tsar Mark Zuckerberg is currently suffering from repetitive strain injury in his wrist, caused by having to ceaselessly click away ads for suits, barber shops, toothpaste and anxiety pills that have cluttered up his newsfeed since his congressional hearing this week. Zuckerberg was brought in front of congress amid the fallout of the Cambridge… Read more »

Thousands Of Newsfeeds Affected Following Syrian Chemical Attack

A CHEMICAL attack which continues the incalculable suffering endured by innocent civilians in Syria has tragically interrupted thousands of people’s routine of mindlessly scrolling through their social media feeds, WWN understands. Penetrating newsfeeds with pinpoint precision, the chemical attack in Damascus suburb of Douma, has left thousands affected by the inconvenient realisation that the 7-year… Read more »