FACEBOOK founder Mark Zuckerberg announced yesterday that the company is to change its parent company name to ‘Meta’ as part of a major rebrand, bless his cotton socks.
Sure, God love the 37-year-old following a live stream pitch which detailed his newly coined Metaverse and saw Zuckerberg attempt to bury 18 years of moral malpractice via a neatly green screened promotional video that made no mention of the wrongdoing, radicalisation, democracy interfering and user surveillance and data collection Facebook is known for.
“The poor dear thinks all of his problems will go away once he puts on his VR headset and buries himself in an orchestrated world of pixels and stolen ideas,” voiced just about everyone, “what’s funny is he seems so oblivious to the steaming pile of shit he made that he’s starting to believe his own arse burps, kinda like that everything is fine meme only sadder”.
Blissfully unaware of his own delusions, Zuckerberg detailed a magical world of his virtual Metaverse, a cartooned reality promising all the things that have already come before but under his new, poorly thought out and designed brand.
“When Mark approached us to produce his new brand name and logo, we were a little taken back,” explained 2nd grade teacher Martina Goldstein, who oversaw the project, “I think the kids did a great job, considering they’re 7 years of age and given a two-hour deadline by Facebook last week”.