Category: LOCAL NEWS


Nurses Promised Coppers Gold Cards If Strike Averted

MINISTER for Health Simon Harris is today scrambling to avoid upcoming industrial action by the Nation’s 40,000-strong nursing staff, by offering the striking workforce a much-sought-after Coppers Gold Card each. The Gold Cards, which allow the bearer free entry into the 5-Star Copperface Jacks nightclub on Harcourt, are extremely rare and it is hoped that the… Read more »

Daily Reminder Country Still Pretty Fucking Broke Thanks To Bank Crash

ISSUING ITS daily reminder to members of the public expecting improved infrastructure or services, the government has stated ‘we’re still pretty fucking broke thanks to the bank crash back in 2008’. Shrugging his shoulders dismissively the Minister for We’re Still Broke admitted any public sector worker hoping for a pay increase that outpaces the rise… Read more »

Relief In Dublin As Ball Finally Stalled

RESIDENTS in Dublin City and county can today breath a sigh of relief after news emerged that the ball has finally been stalled following decades of unnecessary movement and spinning. Dubliners familiar with the ball welcomed its sudden stoppage and now look forward to a new life without having to reference a spherical object when attempting to pause conversations midway…. Read more »