Category: LOCAL NEWS

Local Man Can’t Get Over Fact Plumber Is A Woman

WATERFORD native Padraig Towlin is struggling to keep it together after a rather usual event occurred in his home yesterday afternoon. Towlin (51) had cause to ring a plumbing company due to a leak in his kitchen sink but the company sent a woman dressed in plumber’s clothing instead of sending an actual plumber, much… Read more »

HSE Down To Last Wire Brush, Bottle Of Dettol

ANYONE currently awaiting treatment for ailments ranging from chronic piles to chronic pyorrhoea have been advised to check with their local hospital to see if their appointment has been cancelled, after the HSE admitted that cutbacks have decimated its supply of Dettol, and the one wire brush owned by the health executive is ‘fucked’. Furthermore, the… Read more »

Drogheda Tourism Board Quits

CLOSING the glass front door on the town’s only information centre, staff from Drogheda’s tourism office said one last goodbye to their place of work as they locked the shop’s entrance for the foreseeable future. “People often asked why we even had a tourist office in the first place,” former staff member Gerard Connolly told WWN, flinching to the sound of yet another pipe… Read more »