Calls To Avoid Xmas Eve Pints After All 42 Of Woman’s Exes Currently In Pub
IN A HEARTWARMING display, a network of good Samaritans have alerted local woman Niamh Casey to the fact every single one of her exes, one night stands and situationships are in her local pub, taking in Xmas Eve pints.
“Girl, you know me, wouldn’t bullshit ya. Mad stuff. John, Michael C, Gordie, Michael B, Piss Stain AND Eoin, all drunk here in pub. All been in my ear about you being the one that got away, steer clear,” cautioned one friend.
Scientifically proven to be a ‘verifiable clusterfuck of a nightmare altogether’, bumping into an ex at Christmas can throw the whole festive period out of whack, ruining what could have been an enjoyable time, something Casey can now save herself from thanks to several eagle-eyed friends.
“Jaysus, there’s always a risk you’ll bump into one around Christmas but all 42!?” Casey said as she abandoned plans to meet friends in The Plough, the universally accepted location for the annual pints to celebrate the impending anniversary of baby Jesus being born.
“Red Alert Niamhy! Fergal is after asking if your folks still live opposite Soon Phat, high chance he’s planning on serenading you with Galway Girl in the front garden. Again,” shared another friend in a hastily setup WhatsApp group called ‘more red flags than a matador convention’.
Despite the warnings, Casey has made decision to venture for an extremely awkward evening as it’s preferable to staying home and being grilled by her mother about when she can expect grandchildren.