Insane Family To Go For Run Together On Christmas Morning


AMATEUR MENTAL HEALTH clinicians peering out from behind the curtains while tucking into their breakfast Quality Street tin have observed worrying behaviour by one local family, the O’Neills.

“It’s a family tradition,” said a waving-while-jogging Peter O’Neill, tailed by his wife and two kids.

Many viewed the full context of the early hour, the air visibly escaping the mouths of the O’Neills and the heavy panting as signs of erratic and troubling behaviour.

“The poor man is having a psychotic break,” one concerned neighbour noted, who like any normal person abandoned this year’s exercising in September in order to properly practice his vegetating in the run up to Christmas.

Evidence of smiling and enthusiastic waving further solidified locals’ belief that the family were entranced in some collective mental break which made them do disturbing things such as voluntarily exercise on a day universally acknowledged as a time to gain two-stone by pigging out.

“Ah that’s an awful thing to be saying, don’t say that,” another neighbour said to her husband when he speculated that the O’Neills were showing off, “they’re not showing off, don’t be so cruel and petty, they’re just properly unhinged and disturbed. A reindeer short of a sled”.