Ireland Place Inflatable War Ships In Waters To Ward Off Russian Submarines

AFTER SIGHTINGS once again of a Russian submarine in waters off Cork and the embarrassment that results from asking the British navy to shepherd the vessel away from Ireland’s coast, the Department of Defence has announced a major investment in the nation’s defence capabilities.

Several inflatable swimming pool toy manufacturers secured contracts for making inflatable naval vessels which look eerily like vessels actually capable of guarding and monitoring the activities of a foreign navy, such as Russia.

“We ordered the inflatable submarines but they just won’t stay under water, we’re still trying to figure out the problem there,” said head procurement at the Department of Defence.

“We should be good as long no one drops a Swiss army knife on these bad boys,” said Minister of Defence Simon Coveney, shortly before striking the ceremonial bottle of Champagne against the inflatable only for it to come back and strike him in the face.

The first of the vessels, the LÉ Johnny Logan, is now fully operational and should served a major deterrent to Russian submarines as well as ending all talk of a recruitment and funding crises in the Irish Defence Forces.

Elsewhere, the EU’s attempt to plug the gap in military aid to Ukraine in the wake of US Republicans holding US funding hostage, Europe’s leaders have sent a clear message that they won’t entertain similarly pro-Putin stances by releasing €10bn in blocked funding to Hungary’s pro-Putin prime minister Viktor Orbán.