Category: LOCAL NEWS

2015 Leaving Cert Papers To Be Entirely Written In Emojis

FOLLOWING reports of record levels of borderline-illiteracy in today’s teenagers, the Department of Education has revealed plans to publish this year’s Leaving Certificate exam papers in a combination of emojis, emoticons, and ‘text-speak’. The move comes following falling results among Leaving Cert students, which many experts have attributed to the rise in smartphone communications, in… Read more »

Winter Conditions Warned For This Winter

MET Éireann has issued a code red Winter warning for this Winter, with wind, rain and even snow expected in all areas over the coming months. The national meteorological service also predicted colder temperatures throughout the month of December and right into February and even March, leaving much of the general public in complete shock…. Read more »

Dublin Braces Itself For Onslaught Of Culchie Shoppers

“IT DOESN’T seem to matter to them that they have their own shopping centres in the country, they all rush into Dublin on the 8th”, said Finbar O’Dowd, spokesperson for the Dublin Retailers Association, speaking exclusively to WWN on the morning of the 8th of December, colloquially known as the Culchies Day Out. O’Dowd was… Read more »

Religious Cult To Distribute ‘Marriage Plan’ Drafted By Imaginary Man In The Sky

AN INTERNATIONAL religious cult announced today that it will distribute a 16 page leaflet on “The Meaning of Marriage” across Ireland, ahead of the 2015 same sex marriage referendum next year. The memorandum, which the group claims to be drafted by an imaginary man in the sky called God, seeks to inform fellow cult members that, “the union of… Read more »