Category: LOCAL NEWS

Government Announce Sequel To Irish Water

DUE to popular demand, the Irish government has announced the stunning sequel to one of Ireland’s most beloved and celebrated entertainments, Irish Water. While planning for the sequel, tentatively titled ‘Bin Charges’, was said to have taken place months ago and was the brainchild of former minister Alan Kelly, Fine Gael are very much central… Read more »

Bloomsday Marred By Twats

REPORTS are reaching WWN towers suggesting that this year’s Bloomsday celebrations are being marred by the appearance of several insufferable lovies all across Dublin. Bloomsday, the day chronicled in the James Joyce blockbuster Ulysses, marks the journey of Leopold Bloom through Dublin in a quest to make no sense at all, while eating a fry. Like most… Read more »

Dublin Is Basically Europe’s New York, Insist Dubliners

LOCAL Dublin residents have informed the rest of Ireland, and Europe that while not meaning to sound boastful, their city is hands down, basically the New York of Europe. Citing a number of wholly idiotic reasons, several residents of Dublin were able to convince themselves of their city’s ‘New Yorkness’. “We’re not boasting, but we’ve… Read more »

Some Bitch Talking Behind Your Back

WWN has learned that at this present moment in time some sly bitch is definitely talking behind your back. While the identity of the assailant is still unconfirmed, speculation in your head is rife, citing that wagon Siobhan form accounts as the prime suspect. “Bitch,” you remarked under your breath as she said hello to… Read more »

HSE Spontaneously Combusts

THERE has been widespread shock and confusion at the news that Ireland’s national health executive, the HSE, has spontaneously combusted. News agencies learned earlier this morning that at precisely 5.34am, an intense searing sound was heard coming from every part of the HSE, before a huge boom echoed across the Nation. Eye witnesses described the… Read more »