Category: POLITICS

Government Announces ‘Unexpected Reduction’ In TV licence Fee

THE GOVERNMENT announced its decision today to decrease the national television licence fee from September 1st 20013. Minister for Communications, Energy and Natural Resources, Pat Rabbitte, told WWN that the department received news of an ‘unexpected surge’ in funds earlier this morning, which in turn will allow the government to reduce the current licence fee… Read more »

Senator Norris ‘Only Jealous ‘ Of Our fannies, Claims Feminist Group

IRELAND’S LARGEST feminist group, the Irish Feminist Network (IFN),  said today that senator David Norris is ‘only jealous’ of their vaginas, and has asked for a formal apology from the openly gay politician over comments made to Fine Gael TD Regina Doherty. Mr. Norris came under fire after suggesting that Ms. Doherty was ‘talking through her fanny’… Read more »

Aine Collins TD Now Pregnant By Tom Barry And Seeks Abortion

FINE GAEL TD Aine Collins announced today she is now pregnant following an altercation last night in Dail chambers with party colleague Tom Barry, and will now seek to terminate the fetus. Mr. Barry has since issued an apology to Ms. Collins for ironically impregnating her after pulling her unto his lap during the Dail debate… Read more »

Catholic Church Announces It’s Gay

THE VATICAN announced today that the Catholic church is gay and its decision to ‘come out of the closet’ is set to take the religious world by storm. Speaking from Rome today, Pope Francis said the decision to reveal the churches homosexuality was a hard one, and didn’t just come over night. “We have been… Read more »

Shatter Admits To Watching Mick Wallace Sleep At Night

JUSTICE MINISTER, Alan Shatter, admitted today to watching independent TD Mick Wallace sleep at night in his Wexford home on several occasions. Mr. Shatters revelations came following a controversial interview on Prime Time last week, were he  revealed Mr Wallace had been stopped by gardaí in May 2012 for using a mobile phone while driving but that he had been… Read more »

Government Fairly Confident Things Can’t Get Any Worse

THE GOVERNMENT said today it was ‘fairly confident’ that things couldn’t get any worse and urged the remaining people in Ireland to be optimistic about the future of the local economy. Speaking from his arse earlier, finance minister Michael Noonan told WWN he believes the economy has more or less ‘bottomed out’ and expects gross… Read more »

Unemployed Still Continuing To Survive, EU Warns Government

THE EU has warned today that unemployed people are continuing to survive here and urged the government to apply tighter controls on the Irish social welfare system. The call in a European Commission report came as controversy continued over the amount of unemployed people ‘still breathing’ in Ireland. The Commission says more needs to be done… Read more »