Johnson Almost Well Enough To Be Made Fun Of Again, Confirm Reports

THE POSITIVE news that PM Boris Johnson is now sitting up in bed, potentially making important steps toward a recovery, could mean people are tantilisingly close to a scenario where they’re free to poke fun at, ridicule, lambast and excoriate the Conservative leader once again.

If latest reports are to be believed it could be a matter of days before it’s no longer considered crass to make jokes at the expense of a man who boasted of shaking hands in a hospital where Coronavirus sufferers were being treated, which has come as a major relief to many.

“Great, he’s sitting up in bed! Maybe in a few days I can say while he was doing that 900 people died over 24 hours, and that maybe, upon reflection his ‘herd immunity’/’not testing NHS workers’/’so what if old people die’ strategy makes him somewhat of a callous and entirely incapable leader. But we’re not at that point yet,” confirmed one person keen to maintain decency.

“We’re only a ‘discharged from hospital and is well’ update away from it being safe to point out how we don’t even know how many kids this lying, vindictive stain and drain on Britain has,” added another, who promised to wait until more positive news streams in to bring up the fact under his leadership the UK missed eight Coronavirus meetings with EU officials, or that Johnson has obvious disdain for the NHS and voted against pay increase for nurse.

“I think it’s really offensive to slate the man as he’s ill in hospital, but this positive news means I’m maybe only a few days away from pointing out he’s a cunt who lied about building 40 new hospitals and 1 million other things,” concluded another Briton, who is thankfully above all this.