Category: HEALTH

Feng Shui Makeover In City Centre Smack Den ‘A Big Hit’ With The Addicts

ANGELIC, enchanting and pulchritudinous were just some of the words used by user Martin ‘Nailers’ Johnson when he described the new €7.34 makeover. Nailers has revealed that he consulted with a well known Chinese feng shui expert before rearranging the ‘spent’ residence, tilting the scarface poster several degrees and setting up a ‘no smoke zone’… Read more »

Man In Coma Won’t Stop Farting

Retired teacher Joseph Granville has been surrounded by family every night since he fell into a coma last weekend. Hospital staff admitted to WWN that they have been moved by the touching scenes of children and grandchildren rallying behind Mr. Granville’s wife June in this very trying time. However, the staff remarked that they were… Read more »

Irish Man Ostracised For Not Drinking Tea

A TENSE scene unfolded in the staff kitchen of O’Malley’s Office Supplies in Waterford today as Antony Maher made a shocking confession to his co-workers. The 24-year-old had been enjoying his first few months of employment and felt confident enough to share a deep and dark secret. Antony, visibly sweating, waited for a break in… Read more »

Obesity Epidemic ‘Hilarious’ To Thin People

Ireland’s emerging obesity problem is providing much needed light relief for the thin percentage of the population. Although Ireland is fast running out of thin people, those that remain are reported to derive great joy from seeing how the heavier half lives. In a survey carried out by WWN 80% of thin people surveyed admitted… Read more »

Aborting Foetal Abnormalities Would Be Depriving Future Politicians Of Being Born, Claims Down Syndrome Community

THE DOWN SYNDROME community lashed out today at suggestions to abort fatal foetal abnormalities, stating it would deprive future politicians of being born. Spokesperson for the Irish Down Sydrome Association, Dermot Hayes, said that allowing terminations in such circumstances could lead to politically minded babies being “left to die on sterilised trays”. “Who will run our country… Read more »