Callely To Suffer Candy Crush Withdrawal While In Prison

Disgraced former Junior Minister Ivor Callely is set to suffer extreme withdrawal symptoms from the popular mobile phone game “Candy Crush Saga”, after being sentenced today to five months in prison on charges of fraud. Callely, a former member of the Seanad and Fianna Fáil TD until he was forced to resign due to controversy… Read more »

Shock As Elderly Waterford Woman Melts In The Heat

There has been widespread shock as the close knit community of Dungarvan is coming to terms with the passing of Joyce Dunlop, a 72-year-old pensioner who literally melted due to the recent Heatwave experienced by Ireland. While many families enjoyed trips to the beach involving sand getting trapped and lodged in incredibly awkward and uncomfortable… Read more »

Ex-Girlfriend Moving On With Her Life Like A Complete Bitch

Wicklow man Alan Moore is said to be enraged after closely observing every online profile of his ex-girlfriend for the past two weeks only to discover that she is moving on with her life like a complete and utter bitch. Alan dumped longtime girlfriend, Jessica Byrne, via a specially crafted Snapchat which saw him produce… Read more »

Gardaí Struggling To Perfect Good Cop, Bad Cop Routine

Gardaí are under the spotlight yet again following rumours that some members of the force have failed to perfect their ‘good cop, bad cop’ routine which has served police forces around the world so well for many years. “It was not a problem we foresaw but we will address it in the coming months,” said… Read more »

‘Got Stuck With A Rake Of Garth Brooks Yokes If Anyone Wants Them For Cheap’, Pleads Waterford Lad

WATERFORD entrepreneur Jamie Lonergan has pleaded with anyone looking for cheap drugs over the weekend to give him a call, as he has been left stuck with over 500 Garth Brooks pills after the singer cancelled his scheduled gigs. According to the 23-year-old, the slightly speckled ecstasy tablets, bearing Brooks’ signature caricature, are only expected… Read more »