Kim Agrees To Meet South Korean President After Running Out Of Food


THE pathway to peace between North and South Korea has gathered further momentum as Kim Jong Un is set to meet his southern counterpart Moon Jae-in tomorrow, with the latest rapprochement being attributed to the fact that Kim has finally consumed all of his famine and poverty stricken nation’s food supply.

Famously addicted to cheese, amusing fat yet clearly exacting a devastating influence on his people, Kim’s aggressive rhetoric towards nuclear strikes has faded in recent months and experts with knowledge on the matter believe it has to do with the fact the rotund retrobate lost as many as 1lbs in recent days as food stocks hit a low.

“Kim sadly has had to rely on a similar diet to his people who he allows to languish in poverty and starvation in favour of pursuing nuclear arms, yeah, it was a big wake up call for when the 5-course banquets for him and his inner circle dried up,” explained one Korean relations expert.

It is hoped the first meeting between the leaders of North and South since 2007 can deescalate tensions stoked in part by Donald Trump and Kim which had seen declarations of nuclear bombings increase.

“While many believe discussing Western political ideologies and the concept of democracy and economic prosperity for his people would work with Kim, I believe Moon could be more successful if he just dangled some kimchi or pizza under Kim’s face,” the expert added.

Negotiations between North and South are to draw to a close tomorrow evening with a South Korea hosted banquet, at which every addictively delicious and nutritionally important food will feature heavily.