Local Woman Can’t Wait For ‘No’ Canvassers To Come To House


LIFELONG pro-choice advocate Mary Wilton is said to be ‘ready, willing and able’ to let any and all pro-life canvassers that come knocking on the door of her Waterford home know exactly what she thinks of them.

Becoming increasingly ‘fired up’ by the appearance of ghoulish pro-life posters on every lamp-post in her neighbourhood, Wilton has spent the last week sitting in every evening, just praying for anyone with a bible or a photo of an aborted foetus to rock up to her door.

Wilton is said to be ‘increasingly frustrated’ about how some of her friends on social media have been visited by people from the Love Both movement on more than one occasion while she has yet to receive her first canvasser, but the extra time is just giving her the opportunity to fine-tune exactly what she’s going to say to them.

“I’m incredibly passionate about the pro-choice movement, so the best use of my time right now is to sit at home so I can give the God squad a fucking off when they arrive,” said Wilton, looking out the front window at the rows of pro-life posters as far as the eye can see, and one Yes poster.

“And you know they’ll arrive around here soon enough, that lot are always out on the streets trying to sway people to their side of the argument, always out canvassing, non-stop. You can’t move for pro-life advocates and propaganda, so it’s only a matter of time before one lands here and I get to give them a telling off. It’s the least I can do for the pro-choice campaign. I’ve checked, it’s the actual least I can do”.

Meanwhile, several Pro-life supporters have said that they too are ready to have frank discussions with canvassers from the Pro-choice side, if they ever catch sight of any.