IT CAN BE tough out there in the dating world, and there’s no greater test for retaining a polite demeanour than when your date has run out of benign, superfluous questions about what your hobbies are and not listening to the answers, and adding admissions of liking Rom Coms even though he’s a bloke –… Read more »
THE newly-born daughter of the on-again-off-again royals, the Duke & Duchess of Sussex, continues to rack up critics from both inside and outside Buckinghman Palace following reports that baby Lilibet’s placenta ‘wasn’t up to the royal standards’. In a 4-page Daily Mail article titled ‘Aftergirth; Lil’s Placenta papped looking a bit tubby’, experts have suggested… Read more »
EXHAUSTED from repeatedly putting effort into burgeoning relationships with men who aren’t worth her time, local woman Emma Dunne has taken to scanning the faces of suitors for even the most fleeting sign they’re not complete fucking eejits. “OK, Emma, it could be a nice warm smile which suggests he’s a decent guy… or it’s… Read more »
HE’S consistently rumoured to be Kim Kardashian’s new flame. A post-Kanye fling or something more lasting? And just who is Van Jones? And why oh why do I keep wasting my life devoting time to shit like this? Sure, a mindless scroll through the Daily Mail’s sidebar of shame is harmless enough when you discount… Read more »
ENCOURAGED by friends who insist that she’s still a vibrant young woman with plenty of life left to live, the Queen is to forgo a lifetime of mourning following the death of her long-term husband Prince Philip and ‘get back out there’, WWN can confirm. “Girlfriend, I know you ain’t thinking about moping around that… Read more »
THE TRIED and tested contraceptive method beloved by Irish men for centuries is under fresh scrutiny after women have confirmed ‘enough with this bullshit’, GASH can confirm. “What’s that?” responded 90% of Irish men recently surveyed about the existence of condoms. “But it doesn’t feel as good,” they added despite claiming to have never heard… Read more »
ONE BRAVE man, committed to speaking up for and out on behalf of women, only does so when he knows he is within earshot of a woman who could potentially overhear him speaking. Darragh Crestor explained to WWN that he has made a point of being resolutely respectful of women when within proximity to them,… Read more »
SEVERAL enterprising single women have begun to revolutionise the face of dating with the help of a simple, solitary tattoo. Long since fed up with the tall tales men tell regarding penis length, we meet the women who got a to scale ruler inked onto their forearms. “If lads had an inch for every time… Read more »
ANOTHER polite conversation turned full blown argument has occurred in the McNamee household with mother and wife Janet again playing peacemaker, WWN understands. Regularly butting heads over the big issues of the day, father John McNamee and daughter Claire McNamee are a constant source of bickering which drains Janet McNamee of all energy and will… Read more »
HOLD on to your hats; Waterford woman Erica Harness’s bi-weekly trip to see her mum just got interesting, following 57-year-old Denise falling into a pattern of facial tics and tells that usually come before a massively scandalous gossip session. “Now listen” said Denise after walking to the kitchen blinds and checking out the back, as… Read more »