Category: Wellness

Relieved Woman Logs Back Onto Instagram For Daily Dose Of Obliterating Her Self-Esteem

HAVING being kept away from her main source of confidence draining, soul eroding habit of needlessly comparing herself to friends and complete strangers, relieved local woman Aoife Grainger successfully loaded up her Instagram app after a brief worldwide outage lasting several hours. “I couldn’t cope, I had this nice calm sense that maybe I was… Read more »

How Does Baby Lilibet’s Placenta Stack Up Against Other Royals?

THE newly-born daughter of the on-again-off-again royals, the Duke & Duchess of Sussex, continues to rack up critics from both inside and outside Buckinghman Palace following reports that baby Lilibet’s placenta ‘wasn’t up to the royal standards’. In a 4-page Daily Mail article titled ‘Aftergirth; Lil’s Placenta papped looking a bit tubby’, experts have suggested… Read more »

Is Kim Kardashian Dating Van Jones? Who Is Van Jones? Why Am I Reading This? What Has Become Of My Life? Christ I’m 33, I Should Know Better

HE’S consistently rumoured to be Kim Kardashian’s new flame. A post-Kanye fling or something more lasting? And just who is Van Jones? And why oh why do I keep wasting my life devoting time to shit like this? Sure, a mindless scroll through the Daily Mail’s sidebar of shame is harmless enough when you discount… Read more »

Pulling Out Of The Pull-Out Method: How These Brave Irish Men Copped The Fuck On

THE TRIED and tested contraceptive method beloved by Irish men for centuries is under fresh scrutiny after women have confirmed ‘enough with this bullshit’, GASH can confirm. “What’s that?” responded 90% of Irish men recently surveyed about the existence of condoms. “But it doesn’t feel as good,” they added despite claiming to have never heard… Read more »