IT CAN BE tough out there in the dating world, and there’s no greater test for retaining a polite demeanour than when your date has run out of benign, superfluous questions about what your hobbies are and not listening to the answers, and adding admissions of liking Rom Coms even though he’s a bloke – leaving the conversation to stray into the arena of current affairs and politics.
He was all ears when showering you with compliments about how he doesn’t usually go for someone like you, but now he’s interrupting you right out of the gate when your critiquing the current government’s housing policy.
Here’s how to stay sane by pretending to be interested in his Leaving Cert level political insights because, fuck it, your three cocktails in and you’ve already decided you want the ride tonight.
1) “Wow I didn’t know that”
You’ve a masters in Public Policy but you can do this, you can grit your teeth when he points out “you know Fianna Fáil ruined this country” in a condescending tone that suggests he’s just dropped a bombshell worthy of a Pulitzer Prize.
2) “I hadn’t thought about it like that before”
A slightly more reserved response to “that Repeal stuff wouldn’t have passed without the support of men, that’s just a fact” than is currently running through your preferred options which include ‘kill kill kill’.
But just look at the earnest look in his eyes, this observation is his Manufacturing Consent.
3) “Yes, I’ve heard of Manufacturing Consent”
Even though he’s surprised and says it’s ‘weird’ you know all this stuff, there’s only maybe 10 more minutes before the last bus, so just see this one out.
4) “Listen here you piece of shit, your head has no right being that fucking big given your brain is the size of an emasciated pea. I’ve heard mimes say more of value that you.”
Ooh, you were so close. There’s always next time.
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