Prison To Allow Cosby Wear Orange Sweater
FOLLOWING a rare misstep in the justice system which has lead to a rich and powerful man paying for his crimes, disgraced former entertainer Bill Cosby was found guilty of drugging and molesting a woman in 2004.
In a bid to make the possible 15-30 year sentence he could now serve in prison a little easier Cosby will be allowed forgo the orange jumpsuit worn by prisoners in favour of an orange sweater, the type of sweater he was famed for wearing throughout his career before it came to light he was fond of drugging and sexually assaulting women.
“It has come as a huge, huge, shock to Bill as a rich man who has conducted his crimes with impunity and no fear of ever having to pay for what he’s done, so we’re softening the blow for him with an orange sweater,” explained prison warden James T. Clancy.
The hand-knitted orange sweater will still contain Cosby’s prison ID but the small gesture could help him better acclimate to life as a convicted sexual predator spending the rest of his life behind bars.
“Oh, and if he wants to shout and scream about the injustices visited upon him after he was convicted on the weight of evidence, that cell of his has great acoustics. He can scream misogynistic rants about ‘lying sluts’ all night long,” added warden Clancy.
“Although his 300 pound serial killer cellmate is a very light sleeper”.