UNABLE to see the contradictory and illogical knots he has tied himself in, local Republican and staunch advocate for a United Ireland Liam Caherty remains fully behind Russia’s encroachment on sovereign Ukraine territory as he believes in a people’s right to self-determinism. “But Liam, we’d be first in line to kick the Brits out so… Read more »
RUSSIAN leader Vladimir Putin has refused to apologise to Ukraine for messing with their weekend plans, as he battles to fabricate a facile justification for an incursion into Ukrainian territory. “This is just typical, we’ve been here ready since Monday. If he got his act together then, we’d have had the whole working week to… Read more »
VLADIMIR Putin’s continued feet-dragging when it comes to invading Ukraine has started to vex many other world leaders, who have issued a ‘shit or get off the pot’ edict to the Russian leader. An invasion into Ukrainian territory by Russian forces had been expected this week following months of build-up on the border, but recent… Read more »
THE first division of Russian soldiers to pull back from the Ukrainian border have begun to wonder what the snack situation is on their long journey back to Moscow. Many of the troops involved had been under the impression that they would be treated to a nice chipper as thanks for success in Operation ‘Put… Read more »
SENIOR Russian military aides issued a collective ‘holy shit’ this morning, after several thousand Ukrainian ground troops suddenly charged over the border into Russia, catching Putin’s army completely by surprise. In what is being described as ‘a classic example of the old switcheroo’, Ukraine ended months of tensions along the border and allayed fears of… Read more »
RUSSIAN topless man on horse clearly in the throes of a midlife crisis Vladimir Putin has expressed surprise at Vladimir Putin this Valentine’s Day, insisting ‘you shouldn’t have’ when opening a gift he got for himself. “You can’t expect loved ones in your life to be mind readers, sometimes you’ve just got to practice what… Read more »
“SURE, I’m a confident guy and I have my good days with many smiles, but I can’t be Glad-imir Putin 24/7, sometimes I’m Sad-imir Putin, y’know? But those leaders, they just see Bad-imir Putin,” the words of Russian leader Vladimir Putin as he reveals for the first time the full toll the critical words from… Read more »
‘UKRAINE – could you find it on a map?’, ‘did you ever holiday in Ukraine, do you have fond childhood memories of the place?’ and ‘how many Ukrainians do you know on a personal basis?’ are just some of the questions being asked in a survey aimed at gauging the world’s interest in saving the… Read more »
US President Joe Biden has boxed off an hour this afternoon to sit down by himself in the Oval Office and loudly suck an entire pound of hard candies as he contemplates his next move when it comes to Russia’s continuing aggression against Ukraine. Biden, who every day sets a new record for being the… Read more »
EUROS fever has finally hit Ireland and it is currently spreading quicker than the Delta variant as Irish retailers struggle to reorder enough Ukraine football jerseys to meet the high demand. “Me? Ah been into the Ukraine footy for years, changed my name to Sean Shevchenko,” confirmed Sean Shevchenko, one of many in a mile… Read more »