US President Joe Biden has boxed off an hour this afternoon to sit down by himself in the Oval Office and loudly suck an entire pound of hard candies as he contemplates his next move when it comes to Russia’s continuing aggression against Ukraine. Biden, who every day sets a new record for being the… Read more »
EUROS fever has finally hit Ireland and it is currently spreading quicker than the Delta variant as Irish retailers struggle to reorder enough Ukraine football jerseys to meet the high demand. “Me? Ah been into the Ukraine footy for years, changed my name to Sean Shevchenko,” confirmed Sean Shevchenko, one of many in a mile… Read more »
BENEVOLENT Russian premier Vladimir Putin has declared that the Russian army have been so good over the last year, they deserve a big day out, and has loaded them all into buses and headed to the border with Ukraine for sports, ice-cream, and a charity tank-wash event that he hopes will raise much-needed funds for… Read more »
INVESTIGATORS into the crash of the Ukrainian International Airlines 737 that killed all 176 people on board have been told to stand down, as Waterford mouthpiece Seamus O’Hanlon is ‘fairly certain’ he knows how it all went down. O’Hanlon, 34, has emphatically stated from the get-go that it had been the work of the Americans… Read more »
AIDES close to Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin have confirmed the leader is currently pacing his office, second guessing himself, as news of a comedian being the frontrunner in the Ukranian presidential elections drew international attention. With the first round of elections, placing Volodymyr Zelenskiy as the favourite with 30% of the first round votes,… Read more »
CHALKING it down as an early Christmas present to himself Russian President Vladimir Putin has gifted himself three Ukrainian Navy vessels despite the fact they weren’t his to give away in the first place, WWN can confirm. “It’s an act of ‘self-care’, you’ve got to look after yourself and be kinder to yourself especially in… Read more »
While on a state visit to the Philippines President Of America, Barack Obama hinted at possible future sanctions on Russia as tensions between the two superpowers shift horrifyingly from lukewarm to tepid. “While using the analogy of various incremental changes in temperatures may not be entirely edifying, it is better than facing the reality,” shared… Read more »
WWN can exclusively reveal that sources close to both President Vladimir Putin and Our Glorious Leader Kim Jong Un claim that the pair have sparked up an unlikely friendship via the lost art of pen pal correspondence. According to our sources, Putin and Kim have recently bonded over the fact they are becoming equally shunned… Read more »
An emotional Francios Hollande broke the news to the people of France earlier today. The president of France, Francios Hollande has confirmed what many in political circles had been speculating about for some time. France delivered their promise of unconditional surrender to Russian leader Vladimir Putin earlier this morning ‘just to be on the safe… Read more »
Members of the public who have expressed shock and dismay at Russia’s recent encroachment on the border of Ukraine, specifically the region of Crimea, have been told to read a history book. Slightly older members of the public were quick to air cynical comments relating to the all too familiar sight of a large nation,… Read more »