MAGNANIMOUS Russian leader for life Vladimir Putin has rewarded citizens who didn’t vote for him in the recent Russian election with free trains tickets, a charitable and generous offer praised by the 76.3% of people who voted for the 65-year-old. Those 23.3% of the Russian electorate misguided enough to have voted for other candidates might… Read more »
HEY there, and welcome to Lovin’ Moscow. Got something special planned for one of your former comrades who now lives in a foreign country after seeking asylum due to leaking loads and loads of your very best state secrets? Well, you’re in luck! Today we’re going to show you how to make the absolute best… Read more »
AN EMERGENCY stationery order has been placed by the staff at the White House, after it was revealed that current former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was unable to clear out his desk due to a lack of those big brown boxes that you see people with in movies after they’ve been fired. Tillerson was… Read more »
CALLED on by British prime minister Theresa May to explain how a former Russian spy was poisoned by the nerve agent Novichok on British soil, Vladimir Putin confirmed he would do just that after he stopped laughing. With his shoulders rocking back and forth in convulsions, Putin, along with senior Russian officials spent much of this… Read more »
FORMER Russian double-agent and current rapidly-dying-man Sergei Skripal is kicking himself that he got caught out with the old ‘poisoned by an unknown substance while in exile in Great Britain’ trick, which is becoming a favourite way for ex-Russian spies to meet their demise on foreign soil. Skripal, given refuge in the UK after years… Read more »
JULY 28TH, 1942. Joseph Stalin issues ‘Order number. 227’, a military decision that declared that his forces would take ‘not one more step back’ from the advancing Nazi army that had swept east out of Germany into the heart of Russia. By August, the Germans had reached the city where the Red army were to make… Read more »
IDENTIFYING his awful music’s unique ability to divide opinion and stokes divisions in America and around the world, Russian secret service operatives have confirmed multiple Grammy winner Bruno Mars could be the ideal successor to current undercover agent, Donald Trump. “We have not seen people love and hate something or someone so much since dear… Read more »
CELEBRATIONS have begun among the members of the United Russian political party, following current premier Vladimir Putin’s decision to win next year’s presidential elections by a landslide margin. Putin, who has held the position of either president or prime minister of the Russian Federation for over 17 years, made the announcement yesterday that he would… Read more »
IN THE days following the news US President Donald Trump’s former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI, the bilious billionaire has been quick in his efforts to try to distract the American public and media. In the last 24 hours alone, Trump has been busy firing off phrases and… Read more »
PRESIDENT Donald Trump’s latest public address has done little to alleviate fears among American voters that the Republican may be under Russian influence, WWN can reveal. Taking to the podium at a press conference at Trump Tower with a visible earpiece, the president-elect took no questions, instead preferring to deliver a short address exclusively in… Read more »