US President Joe Biden has boxed off an hour this afternoon to sit down by himself in the Oval Office and loudly suck an entire pound of hard candies as he contemplates his next move when it comes to Russia’s continuing aggression against Ukraine. Biden, who every day sets a new record for being the… Read more »
RUSSIA’S Ambassador to Ireland Yury Filatov has played down concerns over their military exercises off the coast of Ireland, stating that the activity is a “non story” and are part of a regular practice plan to disable American airbases like Shannon, WWN has learned. “Seriously, don’t worry, we’re only practicing to bomb Shannon airport in… Read more »
DESPITE amassing 100,000 Russian troops on the border of Ukraine and continuing his passion project of debstabilising the West and undermining democracy everywhere, Vladimir Putin is held in high esteem by local father Eddie Kevlin who has labeled him ‘some man all the same’. “You wouldn’t mess with him though,” a chuckling Kevlin said to… Read more »
THE much anticipated summit in Geneva saw the two leaders weigh up who has done the most pernicious meddling in the affairs of other nations, with aides sadly confirming Putin and Biden could not come to an understanding. “Imagine we meddled in elections like they do? What would the world say?” scoffed Biden, leader of… Read more »
BENEVOLENT Russian premier Vladimir Putin has declared that the Russian army have been so good over the last year, they deserve a big day out, and has loaded them all into buses and headed to the border with Ukraine for sports, ice-cream, and a charity tank-wash event that he hopes will raise much-needed funds for… Read more »
VOCAL Putin opponent Alexei Navalny could be a matter of days from death by starvation in a prison hospital due to hunger strike, according to official Kremlin projections. Navalny, who began his hunger strike when he noticed his meals had stopped coming to his cell , has been in prison since last year, when he… Read more »
“DO you think I want this? Do you think I want to be president until 2036?” sobbed Russian premier Vladimir Putin, tearfully signing in new laws that would enable him to run for office two more times after his current, fourth, presidential term ends. “What makes you people think this is all the work of… Read more »
THE on-again, off-again nature of the 2020 2021 Japan Olympics has left many athletes around the world wondering if it’s worth their while starting their day with an ice-cold litre of bull urine, WWN Sports can report. With Japan adamant that the games will go ahead this year after being cancelled due to the pandemic… Read more »
AS THE plane transporting Alexei Navalny back to Russia touched down in Moscow, authorities, absolutely not at the direction of Vladimir Putin, arrested the Putin critic, charging him with one count of ‘failure to die from poisoning as instructed’. Charged with a number of other crimes ranging from being ‘critically well’ and ‘still breathing’ Navalny’s… Read more »
THE RUSSIAN leader of an influential religious sect who claims to be Jesus Christ has been arrested and is to be sentenced to death by crucifixion for this Friday, WWN can report. Sergei Torop, known to his disciples as ‘Vissarion’, was arrested in a garden in Siberia late last night following a large supper with… Read more »