Biden & Putin Argue Over Whose Country Has Worst Reputation


THE much anticipated summit in Geneva saw the two leaders weigh up who has done the most pernicious meddling in the affairs of other nations, with aides sadly confirming Putin and Biden could not come to an understanding.

“Imagine we meddled in elections like they do? What would the world say?” scoffed Biden, leader of a country with more coups than a chorus of pigeons.

“Imagine we engaged in assassinations and arms dealing like they do?” retorted Putin, leader of a country with more blood on its hands than a hemophiliac stuck in a blender.

There was confusion when asked by reporters what it was like to come face to face with the leader of country run by the rich few who dole out suffering to the masses Biden and Putin both answered ‘interesting’ at the same time.

Searching for inane talking points to fill the 24 hour news cycle, media outlets turned to body language experts to provide meaningless insight into the leaders’ meeting.

“See here – when Putin farts, cups his hands and throws the smell to Biden? Not good,” explained expert.

“And when Biden ran towards Putin and lunged into a karate kick? Not ideal for relations,” added another.

In order to ensure the leaders safety and trust was maintained, both Biden and Putin had a red sniper’s dot trained on their forehead throughout the summit.

After a routine test of the tea being served, Putin said he was personally offended anyone would think he’d poison such an elderly brain addled man.

Elsewhere, Donald Trump was said to be on his 6th tub of ice-cream in a bid to cope with seeing Putin with another US president.