“Putin Is Some Man All The Same” Insists Local Dad
DESPITE amassing 100,000 Russian troops on the border of Ukraine and continuing his passion project of debstabilising the West and undermining democracy everywhere, Vladimir Putin is held in high esteem by local father Eddie Kevlin who has labeled him ‘some man all the same’.
“You wouldn’t mess with him though,” a chuckling Kevlin said to his son as they watched the news, striking a clear note of unfathomable admiration for Putin.
“Must be some craic being the tea lady in the Kremlin though, what? He’s a wily auld buck – could do with more of that round here from our lot, you have to respect that he doesn’t take shit,” added Kevlin, seemingly unaware the option to not respect Putin was very much on the table.
Kevlin, known to disappear into swear laden rage at any news of government encroachment on any facet of his life, somehow found a way to look past the accusations against Putin ranging from suppressing opposition, stealing money from the Russia people, discrimination against LGBTQ, and the odd bit of murder here and there.
“The Ukrainians though, they do be mad as a bee’s bollocks – thinking they can mess with auld Putes, he’s not for testing boi,” continued the 59-year-old, utterly mesmerised by the dark murderous aura exuded by the Russian leader.
“You know they say he staged a fake terror attack to seize and consolidate power. A radio station even reported one of the attacks a day early the eejits. Fair fucks to him anyway is what I say,” continued Kevlin to dumbfounded silence.
Elsewhere, the German foreign minister Annalena Baerbock said Russia would pay a ‘high price’ for acts of aggression against Ukraine. It is unclear if the ‘high price’ will come in the form of the same shrug of the shoulders Russia received when annexing Crimea in 2014.