US Intelligence Indicates Russia Assembling Power Rangers Robot At Ukraine Border
THERE’S further unease and tension growing at the Ukranian border as exclusive US intelligence leaked to WWN suggests Russia is currently assembling a large scale Power Rangers robot.
“As we feared it’s exactly like the one when the blue, pink, red, yellow and black fuse to create a Megazord,” White US Secretary of Defence Lloyd Austin revealed to media once this intel was leaked.
The robotic structure, somewhere in the region of 100ft with glowing red eyes, is in addition to the estimated 150,000 troops amassed at Ukraine’s border which has been the focus of NATO’s concerns in recent weeks.
It is unclear if Russia developed this technology after turning the Rangers’ mentor Zordon or making contact with noted Rangers nemesis Lord Zedd.
“While the Megazord activisation sequence hasn’t been initiated, we believe such an occurrence is imminent,” added Austin, batting back claims that the Russians were doing this as part of a ‘psyop’ distraction, or simply ‘taking the piss’.
In yet more disturbing news a family of five in Wisconsin are believed to have targeted by Russians after the family sat down to their morning cereal only to discover their milk had gone sour, a clear Russian ploy.
“There is no low these bastards won’t stoop to,” confirmed an enraged Austin, who said that while the US wasn’t yet at ‘fake WMDs evidence’ levels of anger they weren’t far off.