Paying Dole Directly Into Bank Acc Would Remove Walk Of Shame, Defends Welfare Department


DEFENDING their decision to end the pandemic-era practice of paying welfare payments directly into recipients bank accounts, the Department of Social Welfare stated that queuing up at post offices was part of the ‘shame tax’ that comes with welfare.

“It’s the only fecking tax they’re paying anyway, that’s for sure. And the needs of the smug pricks in our society must be met, people need to see doles queues so they have something to scoff at,” confirmed one welfare official defending the decision to return Jobseeker’s Allowance payment methodology to the 20th century.

The department confirmed that welfare should never be viewed as a legitimate safety net for people and should always come drenched in shame and stigma, and heap humiliation of recipients.

“We’re giving them money the least they can do is drag themselves out of bed to collect it. Anyway, studies conducted inside the mind of one commenter confirms online payments just make these lazy people lazier,” added our source, who backed full endoscopy down a claimant’s esophagus to prove their identity.

“I used to work my lunch break on a Tuesday around it, I could hit 4 maybe 5 post offices in town, got to dispatch so many judgemental looks. I’m glad that’s all back now,” said one working man who can’t believe his hard earned taxes go on such ridiculous pseudo communist handouts to non nationals living it up abroad.

The department also confirmed that automatic payment into accounts would starve the nation of daring ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ style pension fraud attempts, something an estimated 100% of population absolutely love.