Tag: coronavirus

No, Martin! Now’s Not The Time To Be Texting Your Ex-Fucking-Girlfriend!

THE suffocating blanket of dread placed over just about everyone during this Covid-19 pandemic has lead many people to reassess their careers, lives, how they treat loved ones and material things they laughably once considered important. However, Martin, it’s now not the time, actually it’s just about the most selfish and self-serving time to use… Read more »

How To Make A Happy Meal Your Kids Will Think Came Straight From McDonalds!

CORONAVIRUS claimed its biggest casualty of this crisis so far yesterday, with the closure of McDonalds restaurants around the country for the foreseeable future. With access to mass-produced chicken & beef-based fried foods now curtailed, parents find themselves facing into self-isolation with their children for an undetermined amount of time without even their usual ‘be… Read more »

Personal Grooming In The Age Of Covid-19: How To Avoid Looking Like A Heap Of Shit

WITH EVERYWHERE in effective lockdown, barbers, hair stylists, nail technicians, brow threaders, waxers and tanning salons are no longer part of people’s everyday existence. If you’ve run out of tan, foundation, hair dye and every other item/service essential to your beauty and grooming regime, and the local supermarket is no help the days, weeks and… Read more »

Cost Of Petrol Annoyingly Low

WITH the country on the verge of a total lockdown and all but essential travel reduced to an absolute minimum, the fuel industry has made the decision to lower the cost of petrol and diesel to its lowest price in years, seemingly just to piss people off. New figures released today show the price of… Read more »

Teresa Mannion Attached To Megaphone With Responsibility For Enforcing Self-Isolation

AS AUTHORITIES note that large swathes of the country seem to be struggling with the idea of social distancing and self-isolation or outright ignoring the concepts, Ireland has released its most potent weapon against unnecessary journeys. Strapped atop of a vehicle, megaphone glued to hand and charged with roaming the streets to plead for complete… Read more »