FOLLOWING Boris Johnson’s reiteration in the wake of the UK general election results that he will not grant permission for a second Scottish independence referendum, Scotland was last seen frantically sawing and hacking away at the 96 mile stretch of the Anglo-Scottish border. Hardy Scottish men and women have been working around the clock ever… Read more »
THE death has occurred of the United Kingdom, peacefully at its residence after a long battle with a deep, deep sickness. The UK had been on life-support since 2016, when deep divides between England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland began to grow, forcing the British government into a coma-like state, where it remained until yesterday’s… Read more »
AS BLUSTERING continues over the identity of the party leader that ‘came out on top’ in ITV’s leaders’ debate between Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn, the British voting public was announced as the resounding loser. Pinpointing the exact moment the British electorate became the clear loser would require reviewing footage from any point over the… Read more »
NEWS that Britain has made a promise to finally have ‘its shit together’ by the later date of January 31st 2020 has been greeted with defeated looks by everyone affected by Brexit as they weep at the mere thought of having to contemplate this interminable torture for even one more life-sapping second. “The extension is… Read more »
AS THE NUMBER of people overwhelmed by the complex and contradictory twist and turns in Brexit continues to rise, more and more people are turning to taxi drivers to keep abreast of the most pressing and important emergent details. In a bid to save you a few quid on a fare, WWN secured the services… Read more »
THREE years after he made the decision on behalf of the British public to leave the EU, the so-called ‘Will, of the people’ speaks out for the first time exclusively to WWN and makes his true feelings known. “The Will, of the people, must be respected,” Tory leader and British PM Boris Johnson incessantly hectors… Read more »
EVERYONE’S favourite speaker of the House Of Commons John Bercow needn’t worry about being stuck for a few quid after stepping down from his position after the canny orator has lined up a plum role as the spokesperson for Lockets, the popular throat lozenges. Bercow was seen as a ‘perfect fit’ for the brand, with… Read more »
THE NEWS is ever changing. Conflicting reports everywhere. Boris Johnson has agreed a deal with the EU and has become Britain’s hero in their darkest hour, securing a deal that finally ensures economic self-harm and poorer living standards for the already poor in Britain. The DUP, however, has in a surprising turn said ‘No’ to something… Read more »
LICKING its filthy paws to rid itself of that God awful mothball smell from its latest catch, the metaphorical cat looked up apologetically after dragging in what appeared to be DUP leader Arlene Foster, before leaving the unwanted catch on the nation’s doorstep. “Gays, women’s choice over their own bodies; what do you think you’re playing at?” the squirming mass slithered… Read more »
SARAH Clarke, also known as Lady Usher Of The Black Rod, the ceremonial face of British parliament and a key player in yesterday’s re-opening of the House Of Lords, is back to her day job rodding drains with the ever-busy drain-rodding company Dyno-Rod. Trading her black-and-white ceremonial garb for an orange high-vis jumpsuit, Lady Clarke opened up… Read more »