THE EU have agreed in principle to a winner-takes-all solution proposed by the UK, whereby a best-of-nine ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ tournament may be held to decide a solution to the issue of Boris Johnson not liking the Northern Ireland protocol he wrote, proposed and agreed to. The people of Northern Ireland are said to be… Read more »
BRITISH foreign secretary Liz Truss has assured Northern Ireland that her statement, about triggering Article 16 if the EU don’t capitulate to the UK’s wishes is totally going to work, it just ‘might not seem that way straight away’. Truss’ plan, reminiscent of the finale of the 1996 horror classic Scream where the two protagonists… Read more »
THE UK Home Office has belatedly confirmed the migrants aboard the boat which sank resulting in 27 deaths may have tried to contact UK authorities including the HM coastguard which stands accused of not acting on the 90 distress calls it received for the incident in question. The fact that the coastguard arrived on the… Read more »
RUNNING in the direction of Joe Biden as fast as its little legs can carry it, Ireland, speaking a million miles an hour, snot bulging from its nose and short of breath, is trying to tell the US what the UK is always saying the second everyone’s backs are turned. “And then they’re all like… Read more »
TAKING A brief break from drowning in accurate accusations it is manifestly corrupt, the UK government has sought solace in one of its fondest pastimes, poking and prodding Northern Ireland in much the same way a cat toys with a dead or dying mouse. “Yeah, let’s threaten invoke Article 16 of the N.I Protocol while… Read more »
A SCHOOLKID caught up in last night’s violent anti-N.I Protocol rally in West Belfast has admitted that he’s not overly familiar with the nuances of the Brexit divorce deal that the grown-ups in the area seem to be so angry about, but he certainly loves being out with the lads throwing rocks. The youth, who… Read more »
WHILE nobody in the EU has come forward and condoned the Irish Republican Army’s campaign of bloody terror in Northern Ireland, leaks have suggested that many are starting to ‘see where they were coming from’, WWN can report. The memos come as the EU enters yet another crunch round of negotiations in the bitter Brexit… Read more »
BREXIT MINISTER David Frost has insisted the EU change all the ingredients to the shit sandwich prepared, toasted and partially eaten by the UK government, despite the fact the UK had previously said they believed a sandwich made from faeces would be the greatest sandwich ever constructed by a human. “Even if we wanted to… Read more »
THE UK’s free fall toward international laughing stock and rotten banana republic should be a slamdunk schadenfreude spectacular for any self-respecting, historical oppression-hating Irish person, and yet. Such is the seismic magnitude of Ireland’s political eejitry that going abroad for your political tut-tutting when we’ve got our very own home-grown gombeens can seem a tad… Read more »
LEAKED communication seen by WWN shows British PM Boris Johnson has directly appealed to IRA fuel smugglers to help Britain in its hour of need by using their extensive knowledge of cross-border fuel smuggling. With his previous gambit of sincerely writing to EU HGV divers and saying ‘dearest stupid lazy useless foreigners we kicked out,… Read more »