THE CONSERVATIVE government is today hailing yet another Brexit breakthrough with the announcement that they have signed a ‘win-win’ trade deal with newly discovered possible signs of life on the economic powerhouse of planet Venus. “This is a triumph for Brexit Britain, today we have signed a trade deal which will see Britain import, tariff… Read more »
PULLING apart the sticky pages of his treasured copy of ‘The Art Of The No Deal’ book, British PM Boris Johnson has impressed everyone with his strategy of reneging on a deal he renegotiated and claimed was the pinnacle of political achievement. Looking to gain some insight into how you too can be a flawless… Read more »
THE image of David Cameron inserting his penis into the head of a dead pig now seems like a cherished childhood memory according to a new poll, following yet another round of Brexit turmoil and strife, with all the major UK players now seemingly ‘even worse bastards’ than ever. As Prime Minister Boris Johnson prepares… Read more »
FOLLOWING months of Coronavirus saturated news seeping into every single pore of media news bodies, Britain, Ireland and the remaining handful of Europeans who care exhaled in unison at a familiar pre-Covid era news story: the UK once again making the centrefold of the world’s latest issue of Fuck Up magazine. In a suspected attempt… Read more »
IRELAND’S coveted spot on the list of countries able to point at Britain and laugh may be in jeopardy today following a number of embarrassing gaffes and blunders by the Irish political establishment which have eroded our moral superiority figures for 2020. Although public smugness rode high on a wave of Britain-based mockery following the… Read more »
SEVERAL battle-hardened former war journalists were forced to leave a press conference earlier this morning after falling ill, as Prime Minister Boris Johnson went into excruciating, intimate detail about how he gave his girlfriend Carrie Symonds ‘a gosh darn good knocking up’. Johnson, 55, and Symonds, 24 years younger than that, had announced their pregnancy… Read more »
AN AUSTRALIAN style ‘points based system’ for immigration is set to be implemented in a post-Brexit Britain, Boris Johnson’s government has revealed. Far from being a worryingly predictable development that could see a dramatic shortage in so-called low-skilled workers, such as nurses and carers, that could serve as a sucker punch to a beleaguered economy,… Read more »
ALTHOUGH a new government has yet to be formed from the aftermath of GE2020, a freshly-invigorated and triumphant Sinn Féin have already begun to lay the groundwork for a Unity Referendum; an all-island poll to gauge the desire to finally reunite Northern Ireland with the Republic, a question that has been brewing in the four… Read more »
THE GREAT British public are luxuriating in the afterglow of yet another day of being safely out of the clutches of the evil EU, with today’s Great Brexit Empire Triumph™ coming in the form of Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s aides banning journalists, who write things in papers and on websites he doesn’t like, from an… Read more »
WITH the passing of Brexit Day has come the first of a number of required measures being implemented by the EU, in accordance with Britain carrying to conclusion the Withdrawal Agreement, WWN can reveal. Large tankers worked round the clock over the past weekend to reorientate the locations of the islands of Ireland and the… Read more »