Category: WORLD NEWS

Governor Who Covered Up Covid Deaths In Nursing Homes Resigns Over Sexual Harassment

AFTER EXHAUSTING all avenues before him including ‘they’re lying bitches’, ‘I have daughters, how could I be a creep?’ and ‘the Gummy Venus Demilo defence’, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo resigned in disgrace, surprising many who thought it would have been the covering up nursing home deaths thing that would do it for him. “Don’t… Read more »

Scientists’ Warning That Humanity Is Basically A Lobster In A Pot Unaware It’s Slowly Being Boiled Alive Just Makes Local Man Want Lobster

A STARK warning delivered in the gravest terms regarding the potential obliteration of humanity has just made one local man really, really hungry, WWN can report. “Oh my God I fucking love lobster, talk about de-li-cious!” local man Sean Rankin said when climate scientists working on the landmark IPCC report pleaded with people of earth… Read more »

“Using Kangaroo Pouches To Transport Vaccines A Mistake” Admits Australian PM

AUSSIE PM Scott Morrison has admitted fault in the federal government’s vaccine strategy which remains a stuttering, poorly planned mess. “They’re not for taming, they don’t follow directions well and they absolutely won’t accept when they’ve fucked up,” Morrisson said of the kangaroos and not of his own administration. Morrison’s inability to speedily rollout a… Read more »

Tory Government Actively Trying To Kill Them Gives English People Chance To Experience What It Was Like Being Catholic In N. Ireland

FOLLOWING on from news stories including how their PM Boris Johnson was perfectly okay with the elderly dying, ‘Freedom Day’ lifting of restrictions seemingly designed to kill off the vulnerable, and tests and food running out, the English people are finally getting to sample what it was like to be a targeted Catholic in Northern… Read more »

Australia Apologises For Vaccinating People Slower Than Dirt Poor Countries

THE Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has issued a formal apology for the painfully hesitant rollout of Covid-19 vaccinations in his country, describing the scheme as ‘unforgivably Indian’ in its slowness. “We’re a fairly wealthy nation with a predominantly white, English-speaking population. There’s no reason for us to be administering doses slower than some of… Read more »

Apartheid & Killings Not Worth It If We Can’t Have Ben & Jerrys, Declares Israeli Government

RECENTLY installed leader of the Israeli coalition government PM Naftali Bennett has been left questioning whether all this apartheid, human rights abuses, illegal settlements and killing of children is even worth it, if Israelis are denied Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. “Honestly why even bother bulldozing Palestinian homes if there’s no Caramel Chew Chew waiting… Read more »