Category: WORLD NEWS

5 Things We Love About Vladimir Putin

FOLLOWING the revelation that vocal anti-Vladimir Putin campaigner Aleksy Navalny is being treated for what doctors are referring to as a ‘reaction to a chemical substance’, journalists around the world have rushed to condemn the Kremlin for what they see as a blatant attack on free speech and justice, orchestrated and overseen by Putin himself. Not us… Read more »

Johnson Booed By Inebriated Scottish Junkies Munching On Deep Fried Mars Bars

FRESH from being embarrassed by protesters as he met with Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon in Scotland, British PM Boris Johnson corrected the official record of events to better reflect the true nature of the encounter. “To the untrained ear, these rabid, vowel-stretching Scottish neanderthals sounded at first like they were voicing their disapproval for… Read more »

Ireland Fucked, UK Fucked, The North Fucked, Everything Fucked

THE last remaining shreds of optimism surrounding the fate of Ireland following Brexit have been swept away by a tsunami of grim reality, with almost everyone on all sides finally admitting that ‘the whole thing is completely fucking fucked’. The facade of ‘it’ll be alright’ began to show irreparable cracks following Boris Johnson’s victorious campaign… Read more »

Britain Diagnosed With Malignant Tumour

A DOCTOR performing a routine check up on the land mass of the United Kingdom has sadly revealed she has discovered the presence of a malignant tumour. The fleshy and unsightly lump, weighing about 15 stone, is fused tightly to Great Britain and could cause irreparable long term damage. “I’m sorry to say it’s a… Read more »

Britain Fined £8bn By EU For Loitering

BRITAIN has been fined a staggering 8 billion pounds sterling after it was found to be loitering in the European Union, despite being told to move on by the EU 3 years ago. The European Parliament issued the fine to Number 10 late last night, giving Britain 28 days to pay and leave, or if not, goods to the… Read more »