Category: WORLD NEWS

Local Man Warming To This Climate Change Craic

DESPITE biblical wildfires, floods, landslides, and general chaos worldwide, local man Gerry Taylor welcomed this climate change craic while bathing in the hot summer sun in his back yard, WWN can confirm. “At least all that mad stuff isn’t happening here,” the 43-year-old dad told himself, unaware his location in Ireland is one of hundreds… Read more »

Fly Suicidal

FLIES who repeatedly landing on your skin sending you into fits of rage have been found to harbour suicidal tendencies and actually want you to kill them, a new study has found. Seemingly depressed from being trapped in a house and left confused why they cannot just simply fly through windows, flies soon become depressed… Read more »

UK To Party Like Death Toll Only 1999

THEY say 30,000 daily cases, mainly Delta, party over; but contrary to this advice the UK is to press ahead with lifting of all restrictions in the country on the 19th of July, as if the Covid death toll were much less than 128,000 souls, WWN can report. “I was dreaming when I said we… Read more »

Donald Rumsfeld Is In Heaven, Insists CIA Report

DESPITE little to no evidence that such a thing is possible, leading figures within the CIA have insisted that former secretary of defence Donald Rumsfeld is currently in heaven following his permanent neutralisation at the age of 88. Mr. Rumsfeld, who always claimed to have created a ‘more stable and secure world’ by invading Iraq… Read more »