Trump Mandates TV Show Hosts Must Give Him 10 Compliments Per Broadcast Or Face Cancellation

IN AN ATTEMPT to bring an end the mendacious misinformation currently circulating which is attempting to imply the Trump administration would seek to cancel TV shows for making jokes, US president Trump has clarified matters to reporters today.

“It’s simple, and actually, very normal, TV shows just have to include 10 compliments about how great I am and if they fail to do so, who knows, maybe the guy I appointed the head of the FCC will strong arm networks until they cancel the show,” confirmed Trump.

“You can talk about how tall and handsome I am, how I was never a friend of Jeffrey Epstein, that my failure to bring down inflation is actually pretty cool – I’ll let you choose the compliments I’m not a complete authoritarian, yet,” added Trump.

“This isn’t an attack on free speech, what a load of baloney, you can say whatever you want as long as it has my preapproval”.

Meanwhile, reports suggest you’re wrong as US Republicans confirmed they were never big on complaining about something called ‘cancel culture’ and have no idea how you got that impression.

Elsewhere, comedians who have spent over a decade complaining about how you can’t joke about anything anymore have rejected the opportunity to voice their opinion on a podcast for the first time ever.

UPDATE: Trump has declared ‘being mean about me or any of my friends’ a designated terror group.

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