“It’s Not Really Trending Yet” Local Man Struggling To Emotionally Connect With Sudan War

ADMITTEDLY drained from focusing on just one or two of the fifty-odd ongoing global conflicts, local man Jeremy Wales said he’s not sure if he has the time or energy to invest in another right now.

“Africa, is it? Right, yeah, sure that’s always a bit mental over there anyway – they’re kind of used to it, ya know?” Wales began, unaware of his callous tone, such is the state of the world in 2025.

The 35-year-old is one of millions of overwhelmed people worldwide, exasperated by images of genocide bombarding their TVs and social-media feeds.

“It’s not like I don’t care, don’t get me wrong, I really think it’s just as awful as any other war, but my head just isn’t able to fathom this one. It would involve a lot of work just to research what’s going on in Sudan, and I literally don’t have room on my profile picture for another flag of solidarity,” the son of two shamefully admitted. “I’m all genocided out at the moment, sorry, Sudan.”

In recent days, thousands of civilians of all faiths have been slaughtered by the Rapid Support Forces (RSF), a militia whose ideology blends secular Arab nationalism with anti-Islamism, essentially targeting anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their particular brand of bullshit.

“So pretty much the reason behind most wars then, religion. Okay, I’ll deffo look into it if it starts trending online,” Wales pinky promised.