Hunter Biden Now Favourite For Republican Nomination After Indictment On Federal Gun Charges
FOLLOWING his indictment on federal gun charges, Hunter Biden is now outperforming Donald Trump in polls gauging how Republicans would vote in a hypothetical presidential election.
“He allegedly lied on gun forms? So what, who hasn’t? Fuck the government, they need to stay out of citizens’ business,” confirmed one right wing voter, who will happily vote for someone with direct experience of authorities trying to violate his 2nd amendment rights to bear arms.
Adding his struggles with substance abuse into the mix and some Republicans are quietly whispering Biden might have what it takes to the next George W Bush.
“He’s not even running for office or an actual politicians but Big Government is still going after him? This is why we need our guns. This guy is the hero we’ve been waiting for,” they added, tears streaming from their eyes such is the joy found in identifying a leader for the everyman.
Despite the clear attempts to obstruct an American obtaining a gun, the powerful NRA remains silent on this particular case.
“Everybody loves a fuck up, and Hunter’s more messed up than roadkill at the Indy 500, and now you’re telling me he might be done on tax charges too? I want this man to marry my daughter and cheat on her, it’s like he was made in a Republican laboratory specialising in selective moralising,” shared another enthusiastic would be voter.
“No one better tell me this fella is a devout Christian ‘cus I’m about to make a pleasure mess in my dang pants,” added the man, of Biden who now has a 98% approval rating among Republican voters.