New Changes To The Late Late Show


AS Patrick Kielty prepares himself to take over the most terrifying seat in Irish television, WWN looks at all the new changes our national broadcaster has made in a bid to revamp the longest running chat show on the planet.

To start tonight’s show, pallets of money will be burned outside the RTÉ studios so licence fee payers can see what exactly most of their money goes on.

The Late Late Show house band will now consist of some auld lad on a keyboard in the corner of the studio playing the Huckle Buck as every guest intro.

Much like the voice notes feature on WhatsApp, misery sections can be sped up to double speed which will make them hilarious for viewers looking for entertainment and not wanting to bawl their eyes out at home on a Friday night.

Keeping with tradition, politicians will be treated like celebrities and asked softball questions while celebrity guests will be treated like politicians and asked terribly awkward questions about their personal affairs.

Competition calls and texts will cost viewers €50 per entry to help fund RTÉ’s legal proceeding costs for their future court cases with Ryan Tubridy and Noel Kelly.

Due to budget cuts, there is only 0.03 for everyone in the audience, however, everyone will receive a free pair of flip flops upon entry.

Russian car manufacturer Lada will take over sponsorship from Renault.

In a bid to have a less robotic feel which characterised the Kenny and Tubridy eras, the show’s script will be written by ChatGPT.

Viewers are urged to ignore Kevin Bakhurst in the background tearing down the new set and selling it for scrap.

Subtitles will automatically turn on whenever Kielty speaks.

A pre-show clap-in-time induction course will have to be attended by everyone in the audience before the show begins. Out of time clappers will be refused entry.