Varadkar Tells UN Sinn Féin Is World’s Greatest Threat To Humanity

TAOISEACH LEO VARADKAR delivered an impassioned speech at an event at the UN in New York warning of the alarming push back against LGBTQ communities but before sticking the landing on his high profile address the Fine Gael leader defaulted to his factory settings.

“One minute he was calling out hateful regimes who impose the death penalty for gay people simply existing, people were on their feet and then out of nowhere it was like he downloaded the latest anti-Sinn Féin malware,” confirmed one eye witness.

“Nevermind that LGBTQ stuff, you think Russian war crimes in Ukraine are bad? Not a fan of climate disasters? Well let me tell you of something far more pressing and horrifying,” Varadkar said, going off script before describing a nightmare scenario in which Irish voters express their franchise and don’t just listen to Fine Gael.

There were deep intakes of breath while the delegation from the Republic of Micronesia fainted as the full weight of the threat of Sinn Féin hit home.

“Yeah exactly I know, and what’s worse is we don’t even get so much as a thank you for housing becoming a more scarce resource in Ireland than sunshine,” added Varadkar, ripping up his previous speech notes and improvising like the UN was a Harlem jazz club at 2am.

Rather than moving onto the subject of agreed Sustainable Development Goals and the failure of nations to adhere to them, the Taoiseach doubled down.

“Sinn Féin’s sustainable goals are to replace your ear drums with The Wolfe Tones’ Spotify homepage. Mary Lou with nukes! You heard it here first folks, let’s act before it’s too late,” added Varadkar