Lampposts up and down the country continue to be peppered with Ireland’s leading sycophants and sociopaths as the race for local and European elections really hot up. With just a month until ballots are cast by the electorate politicians are eagerly pounding the pavement and reluctantly talking directly to members of the public. “It is… Read more »
TODAY WAS to be their time to shine, but unfortunately for 14 flash mob dancers, today was to be their last on this planet after a brutal beating was given out by over one hundred members of the public in Waterford city. Gardai were called to a city centre shopping centre at around 10am this… Read more »
SINN FEIN President Gerry Adams was again called upon to divulge any information he may have regarding the disappearance of several Easter Eggs. The eggs vanished without a trace over the Easter period, with the sweet-toothed Adams claiming no knowledge of their whereabouts. “I had a Peppa Pig Easter egg that I left in the… Read more »
DESPITE the Government spending close to €1 million on their ‘Buy Before Friday’ awareness campaign, as many as 100 people this year forget to purchase alcohol in time for Good Friday, leaving them in the unenviable position of possibly going a day without drink. WWN can exclusively reveal that one such man is Dubliner Anthony… Read more »
CATHOLICS adhering to the fasting and abstinence rules of Good Friday were issued a reprieve today, after the Vatican issued a statement declaring that McDonalds burgers were still on the menu due to their low meat content. “We listen to the prayers and opinions of our flock every year” said Spanish cleric Monsignor ‘Special’ Francis… Read more »
THE NATION has called on the government today to temporarily reintroduce the death penalty for the sentencing of convicted Anglo Irish bankers Pat Whelan and William McAteer. Yesterday the two former directors of Anglo Irish Bank were found guilty of hatching a multi-million euro loans-for-shares plot months before the bank’s collapse, crippling the entire nation… Read more »
MANAGER of Cashman’s Off License in Waterford Gary Cashman was stunned today as his stock of cans was depleted by local lad Diarmuid ‘Dingo’ Walsh in a matter of minutes. Mr. Cashman spoke to WWN about his shock at selling Mr. Walsh 9 slabs of Blonderbräu and 9 slabs of Druids all at once. The… Read more »
TODAY Bord Bia signalled the end of an industry that has dominated the life and culture of the province of Munster for most of the 20th century by announcing the closure of the potato mine near Ardmore in County Waterford. Management has decided that the last deep mine and the 60 workers it employs has… Read more »
CENTRAL statistic figures released today show an alarming increase in the number of smiley looking pricks driving around with their stupid faces on cars. It is believed the jump in numbers are directly related to an ongoing European election campaign which has been going on across the country, and is expected to last well into… Read more »
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