Husband Targeting Upcoming Birthday As Perfect Time To Mention Having Sex Again

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A SUBTLE plan put in place by a Waterford man is set to result in one instance of sex-having on his birthday on the 21st of May, WWN has learned.

Martin Hooley, a man with needs, wants and desires, just like anyone else, has in recent weeks been attempting to soften up his wife Martina all with the aim of asking her if she wants to have sex on the day of his birthday.

“I’ve been trying not to rock the boat at all since about the 1st of January, my eyes are firmly fixed on the prize,” Hooley told WWN as he purchased flowers for his wife in his local petrol station for ‘no reason at all’.

Hooley had, in the past, attempted to initiate sexual intercourse with his wife, but was unsuccessful in each of his 4,345 attempts with their young children, tiredness, work, the TV and the mother-in-law staying, all getting in the way.

“I could have sworn she was in the mood when she brushed off me ever so slightly in February some time, but I didn’t want to risk it, I knew I stood a better chance on my birthday,” Hooley shared.

In the coming weeks Hooley is expected to carry out long put off tasks which Martina has been asking him to do such as emptying out the attic, making several trips to the dump and finally getting rid of the old shed out the back, in the hope that each act will build up sufficient good will and add to his ‘having sex’ chances.

“No one said it would be easy, but I think I’ve cracked it this year,” confirmed Hooley.

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