Category: LOCAL NEWS

Irish Humpback Whales ‘Just Showing Off Now’, Say Researchers

THE IRISH Marine Institute has confirmed today that humpback whales off the islands south coast are ‘just showing off now’. Hundreds of photographers from around the world have flocked to the area in order to capture the mammals breaching. Locals claim that at least five humpback whales have made the south-west Irish coast their home over… Read more »

Electric Ireland: Price Hikes Unavoidable As ‘Electricity Pole Crops’ Fall Victim To Wet Summer

ENERGY provider Electric Ireland (formally ESB) announced today that a new 6% increase in electricity prices was ‘unavoidable’ due to a poor yield in ‘electricity polecrops’ this Summer. The energy firm reported a drastic drop in the number of electricity poles harvested this year and expects a similar price increase in January 2013. CEO of the company Pat O’Doherty… Read more »

“Those Crusty Irish Bastards Really Got Us By The Balls Now!” Admits Shell CEO

SHELL CEO Peter Voser admitted today that the shell-to-sea protesters have really got the multinational oil and gas company by the balls after a truck carrying drilling equipment for the Corrib project got stuck on a road yesterday. The worlds largest oil company was said to be on the verge of collapse following the incident, according to demonstrators at the scene. Mr. Voser… Read more »