A disgruntled and frankly enraged Sligo man, Dermot Kelly, screamed from the rooftops of his laptop last night to vocalise his frustration at what he described as “the continued arsehole nonsense of the current coalition Government”. Kelly, an Art teacher, reached the end of his tether while watching the latest instalment of Tonight with Vincent… Read more »
A COUNTY Waterford politician has spent twelve years and €134,000 in an effort to look like his hero Groucho Marx, it was revealed today. Independent TD John Halligan has used the Marx brothers distinguished features as the inspiration for numerous surgeries, including a hair transplant from his scrotum to secure full eyebrows and moustache, eyelid… Read more »
Galway man Eddie Drummond has finally been given a position he feels is befitting of his expertise and constant complaining, WWN can exclusively report. A rare and presumably illegal executive order issued by Taoiseach Enda Kenny saw Eddie, a 34-year-old systems analyst, put in charge of the running of the entire country for a period… Read more »
FINE GAEL defended their decision to run Olympic silver medalist Kenny Egan in the local elections this year, stating he will bring in the ‘don’t have a clue about politics vote’ to the party. Local councillors in Egan’s constituency of Clondalkin said they were delighted to have the boxer on board and hoped he will… Read more »
WWN can exclusively reveal that if new proposals are implemented in Leinster House TDs will be given permission to sign in to the Dáil online, thus removing the need for them to be present at Government buildings. Signing in online is just one of several new proposals for enhancing the effectiveness of how the country… Read more »
WWN can reveal that the Government has been left red faced following Michael Noonan being named best finance minister by financial magazine The Banker. Government insiders spoke exclusively to WWN about what has been revealed to be a cruel prank. “It’s quite sad really, Michael’s been walking around all day with a badge saying ‘best… Read more »
CUTTING hedges, digging ditches and cleaning sewerage drains could all come part of the social welfare claimants daily working routine in 2014, according to Minister for the Environment Phil Hogan today. Chain gangs of unemployed people who failed to find work will take up new positions in local authorities from early next year, carrying out… Read more »
CHAIRMAN of the National Assets Management Agency Frank Daly defended recent leaks today, stating that its members thought corruption was all part of being a government body in Ireland. Pressure mounted on NAMA for full disclosure of alleged suspicious transactions by its former officials, who leaked sensitive commercial data to a number of outside companies…. Read more »
At 9.30pm this Sunday evening Taoiseach Enda Kenny will address the nation on television. Speech writers have spent the last week carefully crafting a nuanced and sympathetic address that hits all the right notes with the public. Similarly the Taoiseach’s family have put exceptional effort into not being around the house when the speech is… Read more »
INTERNATIONAL HACTIVISTS Anonymous has claimed responsibility for liking a MILF Facebook page using Michael McGrath TD’s personal Facebook page. The Fianna Fail politician was targeted yesterday by the elite team of hackers for no apparent reason, it has emerged. Mr. McGrath (37) had to spend several painstaking minutes trying to deactivate his Facebook account after… Read more »