Gerry Adams Proves Economic Policy Doubters Wrong By Winning €10 On Scratchcard

ANY lingering doubts about Sinn Féin’s economic policies have evaporated after the party’s leader Gerry Adams revealed his recent scratchcard win earlier today.

Critics of the party had previously pointed out that Sinn Féin’s pre-election promises in the Republic of Ireland on matters of the economy contradict austerity measures overseen by the party in the North, as well as overall concerns that Adams doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

“I could have gone for the €2 scratchcard, but I was prudent, aware that the €1 scratchcard was cheaper,” Adams explained while holding up a €1 All Cash card, “I have now seen my investment yield €10 in the time it took me to find a coin to scratch away the foil with. Great return on my investment”.

The media that had gathered at the impromptu Sinn Féin economic forum outside Adams’s local Centra were unimpressed, with many unsure as to how this pertained to Sinn Féin’s overall economic vision.

“The temptation would be to spend that €10 immediately on ten more €1 All Cash cards, but I won’t do so,” Adams added, prompting disappointed sighs from the media.

“I’m going all out with the purchase of one €10 All Cash Spectacular,” the politician countered raising large applause from the crowd as Sinn Féin’s economic spokesperson Pearse Doherty buried his head in his hands.