Local Man Afraid To Tell Anyone He’s Voting Fine Gael


A WATERFORD city resident has revealed to WWN, under the condition we maintain his anonymity, that he lives in fears of telling friends he will likely vote for Fine Gael in the election.

Thomas Hughes, with an address in the Ballybeg area of the county, the one with the blue Toyota Carolla in the driveway, believes that Fine Gael maintaining a presence in the next government will help him and his family to prosper.

“I make no apologies for it, I’m doing well, I’ve seen my business take off and I can feed my three kids, which I couldn’t say in 2010,” Thomas, who has shoulder length black hair, explained as if he had no idea he was at fault for all the country’s problems.

Hughes admitted to making sure all People Before Profit election leaflets were visible in his house when visitors arrived, while he kept all Fine Gael literature in a safe in his attic.

“But Christ, if I say any of this out loud, my mates will hang me, they’re on a nonstop ‘kill Enda’ buzz and I just nod along, but really, I’m just going to vote for what I think will keep myself and my family doing well,” added Thomas, who can be found drinking pints down in the Old Shoe most Fridays.

“I haven’t even told my wife I’m voting for them, and I can’t escape the feeling that what may be good for me, is going to be shit for so many other people,” Thomas added, now sweating profusely.

The selfish local businessman who is single-handedly responsible for the homelessness epidemic and every other problem in Irish society, then concluded our interview by stressing the need to keep his identity a secret. The CEO of Invertatech has our word on that count.