A NEW STUDY carried out by older wiser people has found that 91.7% of teenage school goers are acting the bollix outside your local shop right now, and being very annoying indeed. It is believed the majority of retail outlets around the country are saturated with the tracksuit wearing youths, causing a sharp rise in tobacco and… Read more »
MANAGER of Cashman’s Off License in Waterford Gary Cashman was stunned today as his stock of cans was depleted by local lad Diarmuid ‘Dingo’ Walsh in a matter of minutes. Mr. Cashman spoke to WWN about his shock at selling Mr. Walsh 9 slabs of Blonderbräu and 9 slabs of Druids all at once. The… Read more »
A WAITRESS from Clare was traumatised today as she experienced the sensation of flatulence for the very first time. Maria O’ Mahony had just sat down to watch Home and Away before starting her shift at Italian restaurant Giardino Fresco when a thundering noise erupted from her stomach and escaped out through her anus. “I… Read more »
THE European Union has issued a new directive outlining the need for a best before date to be placed on all men’s underwear in a bid to clamp down on poor hygiene across the member states. The new law will force all distributors to attach a 12 month ‘best before tag’ on all men’s undergarments…. Read more »
A NEW poll conducted by ThrillsWeekly.com has revealed that attending school has become the most dangerous thing that you can do in the United States of America. The article details how one can infiltrate a school posing as a student and then advising to just “wait for someone with a mental illness to shoot up… Read more »
A COUNTY Roscommon man addicted to the nicotine in tobacco has vowed today to give up the drug by inhaling pure nicotine vapour from an e-cigarette instead. Cormac Dempsey, who has been smoking tobacco for over 16 years, bought an electronic cigarette from a local vendor earlier this morning in a bid to “kick the… Read more »
An FBI investigation into several recent viral videos has uncovered some shocking secrets kept from internet users the world over, WWN has learned. Earlier today as many at 60 different sets of parents have been arrested for enrolling their children a gruelling sweatshop-like course; on which children are forced into making viral video hits in… Read more »
Wicklow man Simon Goggins has received widespread criticism from his friends, his family and even complete strangers as the public were made aware of the way he has been treating his girlfriend Clare Goulding. Simon, a 26-year-old carpenter from Arklow has angered countless people following recorded incidents of kindness, decency and thoughtfulness. “What the fuck… Read more »
HENRY Carpenter approached a pedestrian crossing today in Dublin city centre with the greatest of haste, as he was already late for work, but took it down a step when realising there was a frustrated driver waiting for him to cross. The spiteful father of none took his time checking both sides of the one… Read more »
WATERFORD Gardai have arrested Irish stage mentalist Keith Barry this morning at his home for the alleged “brain hacking” of 4,000 people over a 3 year period. Mr. Barry was brought to Ballybricken Garda station at 9am this morning for questioning, but was later transferred to a “mind safe” facility in Cork University after several… Read more »
