“It May Take Men Another 50 Years To Get Around To Reading It” Report On Full Mapping Of Clitoral Nerves Suggests

THE LONG overdue first full mapping of the network of clitoral nerves has been hailed by women’s health experts everywhere and could improve outcomes in pelvic surgeries and provide hope for victims of FGM.

However, an accompanying report suggests that while the news will be welcomed and widely shared among women, it may take as many as 50 years for it to reach the male mind and a further several centuries for that information to be absorbed in any meaningful way.

“Our research suggests that the clitoris often occupies the same space in the male mind as the Moon landing in that they love to talk about how it isn’t real, so it’ll be awhile before they accept the findings of this mapping of nerves. Any attempts to to send the study to men has resulted in responses back about how they couldn’t click on the link or even find it,” confirmed one medical professional.

“I’ve left photocopies of the news on the fridge for my husband, it’s on his car’s windscreen, his bike saddle, the shed door, his beer, the TV and nothing. He’s watched the football for a solid 90 minutes, never once commenting on the sheet of paper covering the TV, he can’t seem to see it,” shared one disgruntled woman.

Elsewhere, an all-male team of researchers performed a failed replication of the 3-D modelling, suggesting that the initial findings are not the breakthrough that is claimed.

“We dispute these findings, and it’s irresponsible to claim the things that are being claimed. When we tried to replicate it, all hell broke loose. John had his hand lazered off by the 3-D printer, Derek hid the corner crying, rocking himself back and forth whispering ‘it scares me’. I gave it a go for five to ten seconds before rolling over and going asleep, who needs a ‘map’ anyway, I’ve a great sense of direction” confirmed the team lead.