Newly Established ‘Board Of Peace’ Host Ceasefire Talks With Beckhams

WHILE THE SUBJECT of much derision and accusations of moral bankruptcy and naked cronyism and corruption, Donald Trump’s newly established ‘Board of Peace’ is wasting no time in its quest to end all conflicts across the world, WWN can confirm.

Dispatching a who’s who of peace geniuses including Tony Blair, Jared Kushner, Aleksandr Lukashenko, Khaldoon Al Mubarak and Benjamin Netanyahu to mediate between the warring factions in the highly destructive Beckham civil war, an end in the conflict has never been closer.

“It’s a horrible, horrible conflict, this is what the Board of Peace was set up for,” confirmed Donald Trump, “some say it’s Peltz woman’s fault, everybody’s saying it, beautiful but crazy, it’s true, but dancing sexily as mother of the bride? We’re looking into it. Personally, I don’t see the big deal I don’t talk to my son Eric and I don’t care, it’s fine”.

Sources within the initial peace keeping negotiations suggest key to a thawing in tensions could revolve around getting Brooklyn Beckham to stop referring to himself as a chef.

“It’s important to always push for peace, no matter how hopeless it may seem but I think we’ve more chance of getting the IDF to go a day without committing a war crime,” confirmed a Board of Peace source.

UPDATE: An overwhelmed Board of Peace is stretched to breaking point as it has been called to intervene in the Blake Lively/Taylor Swift texts time bomb.

“We just wanted to set up an elaborate front for money laundering and enriching our friends, this is too much,” an on the verge of tears Jared Kushner shared.

Help us to continue taking the piss in these trying times by buying yourself something nice in our shop HERE