“What Is Waterford?” – Asks Health Minister

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HEALTH Minister Simon Harris has come under fire today after failing to recognise the Southeast city of Waterford during an interview with press this afternoon.

Asked whether a cardiac care unit in Waterford was justified, Mr. Harris looked puzzled before responding: “Waterford! What is Waterford?” adding, “I’m not into cars to be honest, but having a cardiac lab in one is an absolutely brilliant idea! Especially if its an underwater car?”.

Mr. Harris was then ushered aside by members of his press team, before trying to recuperate his obvious blunder.

“Ah, I was only having ye on,” he began again, this time holding a piece of paper which he began reading from, “Waterford is the oldest city in Ireland. Everyone knows that. What a great place Waterford is. Unfortunately, to answer your question, it is not great enough to have its own cardiac unit. Shame about that. I love Waterford too. It’s so… watery”.

Before any more questions could be asked by journalists, the Health Minister was bundled into an awaiting car by several members of his department, and shuttled away at speed.

Earlier an independent review into cardiac care at University Hospital Waterford concluded that a second specialised laboratory is not justified as not enough people vote Fine Gael in the county, forcing local man and Junior Health Minister John Halligan into a sticky situation, as he said he would have no other option but to resign his position if his request didn’t go through.

However, the Government quickly responded with more empty promises to lead him, and everyone else on for another few months.

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