Tag: tech

Zuckerberg Bombarded With Facebook Ads For Suits, Haircuts

FACEBOOK Tsar Mark Zuckerberg is currently suffering from repetitive strain injury in his wrist, caused by having to ceaselessly click away ads for suits, barber shops, toothpaste and anxiety pills that have cluttered up his newsfeed since his congressional hearing this week. Zuckerberg was brought in front of congress amid the fallout of the Cambridge… Read more »

Is It Pronounced ‘Data’ Or ‘Data’?

AS A growing number of people become more and more concerned about, and aware of how tech companies, online publishers, news organisations and websites use their personal data, there has never been a more important time to decide whether it is pronounced ‘data’ or ‘data’. While some members of the public, concerned with how Facebook… Read more »

Thousands Of Newsfeeds Affected Following Syrian Chemical Attack

A CHEMICAL attack which continues the incalculable suffering endured by innocent civilians in Syria has tragically interrupted thousands of people’s routine of mindlessly scrolling through their social media feeds, WWN understands. Penetrating newsfeeds with pinpoint precision, the chemical attack in Damascus suburb of Douma, has left thousands affected by the inconvenient realisation that the 7-year… Read more »

Delete Yourself. Now.

Dear Internet user, Please read the following open letter carefully, as this is the only correspondence you’re getting from us. Look at the state of you there you pathetic blubbering mess, worrying about what your technological devices are doing to your life; what information we’re taking, what conversations we’re listening in on, what filth you’ve been… Read more »

“Here’s Some Settings, Now Fuck Off”

FACEBOOK CEO Mark Zuckerberg has responded to the data breach controversy involving Cambridge Analytica yesterday by introducing some new settings, before telling users to cop on to themselves. “What the actual fuck do you think we were doing with all that information?” Zuckerberg began in his latest status update, “did adverts about items you were… Read more »

Self-Driving Car Commits Suicide

THE motoring world is today paying its respects to a Olta Suspiria self-driving car that drove itself off a cliff in Germany, having become withdrawn and depressed in recent weeks as it struggled to reach the expectations heaped upon it. The vehicle, described by many as a revolutionary leap forward in the field of autonomous driving,… Read more »