Tag: religion

God Apologises For Saggy Skin On Human Races’ Elbows

BREAKING His longstanding silence to answer queries from the general public, God Almighty has apologised for the first time regarding that saggy bit of skin on humans’ elbows. “I may have been distracted when I made that part, and for that I’m sorry,” God stated before admitting his concentration and efforts mostly went into perfecting… Read more »

“Isn’t It Time We Forgave The Church?”

In his latest column, Bishop Cornelius Byle, WWN’s resident priest and conscience expert, poses the question ‘surely it’s time to forgive the Church in the matters of covering up child sexual abuse, disposing of babies in a septic tanks, selling children illegally to couples in America, condemning women to servitude and hard labour and a… Read more »

God Banned From Hanging Around Schools

A HIGH Court ruling has implemented a ban on the creator of the universe, God, after a series of public complaints claimed the 4.5 billion-year-old was loitering around the majority of schools in the country. In the ruling this morning, Judge Peter Kelly ordered the Almighty to stay at least 1,000 meters away from all primary and… Read more »