Man Who Is Not Religious & Hates The Church Still Going To Tick ‘Catholic’ On Census Form

ONE LOCAL Waterford man with deep seethed enmity towards the Catholic Church for everything from its covering up of child sexual abuse, operating of an illegal child trafficking racket and condemning people based on their sexual orientation is still somehow going to tick ‘Catholic’ on the upcoming census.

“I’m agnostic and have no affiliation with the church at all, the days of their malignant influence in Ireland is over,” explained Ciaran Roundtree, a man whose appearances in church over the last 15 years have been confined to other people’s weddings and funerals, and yet.

“You will not find someone more angry and resentful of all the crimes and inhumanity facilitated and encouraged by the Church on this island,” added Roundtree, despite the fact when it comes down to it he will tick ‘Catholic’ because he had a bit of water splashed on his head when he was 117 days old because a celibate man said he was full of sin.

Roundtree is believed to one of hundreds of thousands of people who will mark their religion as ‘Catholic’ despite having no faith and in the process hand the institution he so resents and mistrusts with an opportunity to claim it is relevant and should be at the centre of all secular decisions on schooling and healthcare.

“Stop, I know, I’m pissed off just thinking about their role in the maternity hospital or how they want a say over the sex education my children receive,” added Roundtree while flexing the fingers he will use to wildly veer his pen towards the ‘Catholic’ box at the very last minute on Sunday evening.